Reminder to self

Every minute that passes brings me a step closer to having baby in my arms. Be focus on the fact that the baby I've been carrying for the past 9 mths is going to come out in a couple of time. Re... Lax... And breathe. 

Hot!!

Feeling so hot. Wonder if it's the weather or isit me. My hands and feet are so warm now. Whenever I move a little, I would feel sweat ticking out of my skin. So I'm not moving anywhere. Just sitting here and watch bride of the century. My hips are so painful to walk with. So, I'm basically sticking at home this weekend and not doing anything. Hubby cleaned and vacuum the house yesterday while i sit and watch drama. :)

Can't believe my labour is going to start in a few days time. I hope it's not a drama labour symptom. I hope to dilate by myself before I enter the labour ward. 

Jiayou!!

List of people who cares.

The people to thank and notify when I give birth

1. Gm 

2. Auddy

3. Louise 

4. Niang 

5. Twinnie

6. Fishes/Yeesan 

7. Artbox

1. Confinement lady

2. Karen / Amy

3. Brother / Chloe

The checkup on 38weeks 6days

Bam. It hit me so bad. Doctor just said my cervix is CLOSED. I am so scared and disappointed. The internal checking was so uncomfortable. It's like he is digging for something inside with all his fingers and all just might. :( yet turn out my cervix is not even opened. 

And then he says baby's head is not facing down yet. So when he go pass the birth canal it might be a problem for him. 

I have walked so far with Riordan. Really dowan anything to happen to me and him. God, take away all complications and let Riordan be born in the best circumstances. 

Yet another day

Nope. Not today at 38 weeks 6 days. Contractions didn't come. Blood not spotted. Just feeling slightly hungry. Haha. Another day of waiting! I shall clean the house again this week then.  Yawnz

Childbirth

Talking to Tricia bout childbirth. I suddenly have this adrenaline rush! Scared yet brave. Nervous yet calm. It's like a heart prepared to run a marathon ahead of me!! Today seems like the best day of my mood to give birth. I am actually quite sure it's going to happen tonight. A gut feeling. :D 

The website says u will feel a sudden burst if energy. I am counting on that point and praying for tonight! 

Nervous! Shivering in excitement!!!

God's words

Philippians 4:6-7 – “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” 

2 Cor. 12:9 - “My grace is enough; it is all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become!” 

“Birth is God’s time. It can’t be rushed or programmed to suit anyone’s clock. It is a time to simply be there, respecting the woman’s space and the natural rhythms of her body. Think of how time ceases to have relevance when you are caught up in the presence of God worshipping Him or when you are in love and spending time with your beloved. Time flies by and you barely notice. Birth time is the timing of nature. Who knows when spring will come? Can a budding flower be found open? Yet in time, these things unfold. So does birth. I sometimes suggest to my clients that they visit the ocean and see the rhythm of the waves on the shore. That right there teaches you, deep within, so much about the patterns, rhythms and power of labor.” – Julie Bell

Isaiah 26:3 – “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you: because he trusts in you.” Keep your mind on Jesus and the peace that passes all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:7). Focus your mind during your labor…do not let it stray to focus on the pain and process, but rather on Jesus and His sustaining grace. This verse really spoke to me while preparing for my birth. I memorized it and quoted it to myself throughout the most challenging moments of my delivery. It was such a blessing.

1 Peter 5:7 – “Cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.”

Hebrews 10:35-36 - “So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! [A baby!] Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that He has promised.” 

James 1:3-4 “For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” (NLT)

Friday March 28?

Dear Riordan, mummy hope ure hearing this. Will u give mummy some labour signs and  pop on Friday? Ure getting heavier and heavier and mummy's poor back cannot really carry u much longer. U will have many cousins waiting to play and cuddle u. U have mummy and daddy looking after u. Grandparents doting on u. So come out soon okay. We all love you and waiting for u this Friday. 

Back pain

Yesterday night when hubby and I were on the bed preparing to sleep, I felt my usual right  back pain. So I positioned my knuckle right underneath the pain and sleep. Hubby noticed it and asked why am I sleeping on my back when I'm feeling the pain there. I told him I wanted to support the back. Told him don't bother about me. After awhile, he donated his pillow to me :) thought it was quite sweet because he seldom take notice of me, or even when he knows what's the problem, he wouldn't really take the extra effort to care for u. So. I'm happy :) 

Ouch part 2

Sigh, walking hurts now and it's demoralizing because as much as I don't want to look like the typical pregnant woman, I'm finding myself more n more like them. I support my back. I waddled. I walk with two legs spreading open. Argh! I'm only at a young age of 27. This can't b happening to me. 

Riordan, mummy teach u how to spell 'tonight' okay? T-O-N-I-G-H-T

Pop tonight okay. :)

My rest day

I took leave today to enjoy me time. I totally love it. To laze around at home not forgetting to get some household chores done. Currently I'm experiencing some backaches at the lower back, that links to the right side of my butt. Ouch. 

And so last weekend was fruitful. I changed the bedsheets, mopped the floor and dust it again with magic clean. Wiped the dust in all rooms. Iron the clothes. Cleaned the fridge. Packed my things from mum's place. Organized baby's wardrobe(again). Never sick of doing so. Haha. Cleared the trash. Washed the bedsheet. Hang them dry. 

So right now I'm lazing and thinking of making dinner. Which I'm abit lazy to do. Because I have yet to buy the ingredients and my back hurts. But I'm still going to do it. This is probably my last chance of cooking in peace. I want to practice more before baby is out. 

I checked symptoms of labour yesterday and it says it will give u a sudden burst of energy and u will have a strong urge to keep everything in place. It's called nesting. And u will experience stabbing pains or ur back. I have both of these but don't think I am going into labour anytime soon. 

Probably I still need to visit doctor lim for one last time this Saturday before everything falls into place. 

By the way. Can I just say I am very proud of myself too? Because throughout the pregnancy I have not taken any leave or mc to rest at home, or taking advance leave to wait for pregnancy to happen. And then I carried heavy things my own, I packed the storeroom. I shifted hubby's cabinet around. Packed baby stuff ALL BY MYSELF! I am so so independent. And I don't bug my husband to get me food cravings. Or bug him with my emotional needs. Tho I do ask him to give me short massages here and there. :) 

Say if Riordan is soo obedient he decides to come out on his due date April 6, it means I only have 9 working days left! Oh, and the pain the pain. I think I need to be mentally prepared for the pain that I would go through in labour. I used to think a lot for my vagina. The cutting up, the stretch to accomodate baby's head. The stitching up. But my mum told me it's the contractions that are painful. Sometimes when I have an upset stomach I would relate the pain to that and imagine it multiplying 100 of course. It hurts. Yes. But yesterday mum told me about how she can't get down to bed to walk on the first night. Because her bottom hurts. Sigh, so look. There are two pains! Contraction is 1 tormenting long process and the tear is another one! Not only do I have to suffer the pain of stitches and healing, I'll have to face it. I'll have a loose vagina. Period. 

Okay. Stop looking at the bad side. It's a joy to see ur kid. He will bring ur bundles of happiness. So stop whining like a immature woman! 

Sooboon's bday

Met up with the girls today. It's the bkk girls. Oh. What a great gathering. Miss the moments with them especially with Kaili and sooboon. My cca buddies. So so much memories :) 

Ranting about work

Blogging from work place computer now.  Nothing much to do here, either I am too efficient or there's isn't enough work to do. Sometimes, I think its better off to have just one designer here. It will be so much more fulfilling. Hope ---> leaves soon! Right now, we just finished having lunch, but I dont even want to speak to ---> She is simply boring to talk to.

Other than that, boss just told me how big boss was torn to choose my designs because he likes both. :) That was really encouraging to hear! And sometimes when I look at my design I cant help but love it. As opposed to ---> hahaha.

There was one day when I walked into boss office and told him how I intend to split my maternity leave. He then told me he has plans for me. Got me so excited. WOnder what plans are ahead of me. Could it be promotion? I dont really care. I just want more pay!!!!!! I dont mind doing more work. But I really want pay increment to at least 3000. :(

Relationship

Seems like its been a long time since I talked about my marriage life. Which means its a good thing. I'm happy and blessed. Tang has been a really good partner and I really have nothing much to complain about. He is the same before and after marriage. Things like he refuse to say I love you. Or sweet talking me. Or washing plates and all that are things that I already know about even before marriage. 

And I begin to enjoy my me time at home more and without him around, I can do many housework. So each time he told me he's going golfing I would let him go. So that I can pack the house or think of something to cook for him.

Our xxx life has decrease tremendously. Maybe we will only be naughty once every 2 weeks. Sigh. I am okay with that frequency because I really can't do anything much now and I'm easily tired. But not too sure if he is accomodating me. I really want to keep him satisfied too. Maybe tonight. Hmmmm. 

18 more days!!

I am too excited to conceal my joy! I'm 18 days away from my EDD. Suddenly.... It feels soooooo near!!!! I can't wait!!! Will it be tomorrow? The day after tomorrow? Maybe this Saturday? Hahaha could it be April 1? Oh Riordan let mummy know when are u ready. Don't give mummy a surprise attack okay. Be guai ya. I love you! 

Right i always felt that this song lyric I love you before I met you was crap. How can u love anyone before meeting them. I guess this scenario is valid! I love you baby R. Even before mummy sees you, smell u, touch u. 

The things I hate about being pregnant

1. The nauseousness. I can still remember how my gastric churned every morning and there were a few times my second round of breakfast was 1 bowl of kway chap. Now the thought of having that for breakfast just kills me. It's too much! And then how I cannot brush my tongue because it makes me gag! 

2. Being fat. I am now 37 weeks and 2 days. Weighing almost 62kg. Oh my tian. I cannot fit in all my clothes now. Even those looser ones that I used to wear before pregnant. I miss my petite figure. And wearing body hugging dresses. I wonder if I can get my figure back!! 

3. My big nose. It's growing bigger and redder. Not everyone noticed it, but doesn't matter. I saw it and I think it's ugly! 

4. The pain at my ribs. It has bugged

me for many many months. 

5. When my breast meets my tummy. Just like how sumo wrestlers are. Yes. I feel the same. When the weather is hot, that part feels sticky and yucky. Now it's like tight. I have to sit up straight to avoid the pain. The uneasiness.

6. Not being able to eat whatever I feel like. Chilli. Coffee. Pineapples. Cold drinks. Forbidden food seems to taste nicer! Although I still take abit. Hehe

Feels like I enjoy pregnancy more than hating it :) I am glad 

Things I love about being pregnant

What I love about being pregnant 

1. The attention is always on u. Colleagues took extra care for me, even though some are making me uneasy. But I know they are being nice. 

2. Getting seats most of the time when taking public transport. I'm the sort who won't reject commuters who gave up their seat but never the sort who looks pitifully for seats. Which is why I always try not to stand in front of seated passengers. Paiseh :p

3. Getting to eat without feeling guilty! It's a whole of a big change I took about 4 mths to get use to it. I used to control my diet so so much. 

4. Documenting the bumps week by week. And watching it grow. But 33 weeks onwards was sufficient. I really hate to see it grow. My clothes don't fit anymore. N when I gym, I don't seem to hv any shorts that fits me. Tight!! 

5. Hubby helping out with housework. Can generously ask hubby to fetch n pick me up, even though I'm not really hard up on that.

6. Getting to eat bird's nest!

7. Looking at baby clothes n smelling them. They are so cute!!!! N the scent of it is so comfortable. 

8. Something to look forward to instead of mundanely working

9. Baby talks! The experiences from other mothers became like a supportive gauge for me. Tho I hate the 'u cannot eat this' u cannot drink that' naggings 

10. Watching the movements especially with hubby. Omg this is truly amazing. Watching a life right inside u moving about. Creating waves on ur tummy. N sometimes respond when u call his name or drum on my belly. Glad that I managed to video down the movements. But some throbbings are so frequent n persistent I kinda think it's disturbing. Dont get me wrong. I still love my baby. It just feels like constant hiccups. 

11. Getting to sleep early not because I want to but because my body needs to. Well, sleeping is a blissful thing to do!

12. Friends become super accomodating n will help me carry heavy stuff. Like sy, travelled all the way from her workplace to tampines. No complaints! Jus for me :) help to carry my groceries n wait for hubs to pick me. Louise also came over a few times to keep me company, bake with me n don't even allow me to squat or carry anything heavier than a glass of water!!! Sooboon also made it a point that I have n enjoy all the privileges. N she even picked for her birthday lunch to be at tampines just so it's near me :) n niang, taking me to the fair n help carry things n treating me eat nice food. N my own mother, making birds nest for me. Not easy to pick the feather out know!

13. Even though I look much rounder and now with a bigger tummy, i still feel that I am a much better looking mummy compared to other pregnant ladies out there. Hehe

5am now. Better catch a wink. Hope work tmr is fruitful !!! 

 

Pork porridge

Told hubby that I want to eat pork porridge. Viola. He brought me to bedok 85 market to get chai chee pork porridge. 

Feeling loved and important. Thank u darling!

Enjoying cookies n cream chocolate right now. Some luxury that I won't be able to enjoy after I give birth. Indulging every moment now! And please, if I'm reading back now, u gotta lose weight and be back to ur pre pregnancy weight of 48kg!!! 

61.8kg now. At 36 weeks n 6 days. 

Hubby say I will be in labour 1 week earlier. But I thought otherwise. Either 1, 2 days earlier or on the dot. 

Dr lim said that baby is not engaged yet. His head and shoulder still quite high up. 

Routine before birth

It's 11.08pm right now and I'm tired. Just ended our routine. Here it is 

7:04am bathe

7:30am prepare breakfast 

7:55am wash the plates and get ready

8:02am leave house

8:40am reach office

Work 

Lunch

6:15pm surf net and me time

7:15pm hop into car

Pack dinner

7:50pm reach home

8pm channel 5

9pm hot doors night

9:50pm bathe 

10pm kang xi

10:45pm feeling sleepy

11pm walk into room

Crash. Everyday. Monday - Friday. 

Wonder how ll this be changed after baby is out. Haha. 

Love the me time now :)

Suffering from cramps two days ago. Hold the pain for a good 10mins until I realise I can't even stand up to go to the loo. So I text hubby. 

Cramp. Painful. Can't even walk.

Labour? 

No. Probably from the cold iced tea I drank a moment ago. 

Must be. Riordan shivering inside

Hahaha. My husband is very cute and creative! 

Cherishing the now moments

Week 35 and 5 days.

As the date is drawing near, I felt more and more excited and impatient. I want to meet Riordan really soon. My stomach is huge now, no one say its small like they used to anymore. 

But at the same time I am scared. Afraid of the challenges placed ahead of me. Afraid of not knowing what are the things to do or not do to my baby or to myself. What if I had to wake up each hour every night just to make sure baby is well fed, is changed, safe and all that. I can't do without my sleep u know! 

I should really enjoy this moment where I have the time all by myself. The silence in the night. The tidiness of the house. Just me, Silvia n my thoughts :)

If there's anything I have learnt about life so far, it's to enjoy the now moment. 做人要活在当下. There are a lot of memories that I cherish a lot in the past but complain about too at the same time. But whenever I look back, I always felt it was the most blissful n happy moments. 

So I decided to be patient with my pregnancy. I shall not rush for baby to come out but instead cherish the time while I still have. Being carefree. Eat like glutton without feeling guilty. Having my me time at night. 

Oh how I love my life right now and I'm serious :) 

Random at week 34 + 5 days

Hello there! I'm nearing to my EDD. I always felt that Riordan will be out before the due date, since that's that case for most people. But recently I've been hearing some who past their due date and had to be induced and all that. And then many refer EDD as only a very vague guideline. 

I really hope it won't pass the due date because I really don't wanna hold R inside me for too long, afraid that my stomach will be bigger and bigger. And stretch marks surface. And I also wish to stop working soon! 

Movements. Baby's movements are huge! Sometimes he will roll from left to right. So my stomach wil protrude on the left then suddenly on my right. It's funny to see how he moves and it's so cute!!! 

Breathless. Last night. Don't knew what isit due to. Nauseous. A little, but not as bad of course. Just a slight urge of puking at times. Breast. Huge. Going to tear this dress of mine at the chest area. Seriously. 

I am so blessed

Met niang and twinnie today for lunch at imperial treasure. Felt so loved by them. Niang treated us for lunch, that's like a whole lot of yummy dimsum and roasted delight. Too yummyfied!

Then niang took me for shopping at taka baby fair. Bought a few little things for Riordan. Niang helped to carry the things and even paid for all the cotton balls! :( I am paiseh but I really so not how to reject her good intention. 

Then after that D-ye came and pick us up to dinner place at Clark quay. It's under fraser hotel affiliated to where twinnie was working. So we got to enjoy 50 percent off. And twinnie treated us! Omg. Then when going back, I really was just hoping that diye drop me off at mrt station yet he drove all the way to flora road for my sake... I hope they know how much I appreciate all these :( really paiseh know ....

But also happy and blessed to have these good people around me. So happy to feel loved and pampered.. Not to mention how my darling hubby fetched me from places to places. :) happy bird.