Shared this with sis in law today .... I don't know since when, I have 1001 of complains about TW especially when it comes to kids. And sometimes I will be sacarstic in the way I talk to him. I apologised for that before, but I cannot help it when I see him having this heck care attitude towards his own kids. It's quite frustrating to see him playing his phone or minding his own business at home, when the time he spends with his kids are already so limited. At home, he can totally block me and the kids out. Eg: during depavali ph, no doubt we spent a great shopping day at vivo city(it is very rare he can commit a whole day to bring the whole family out), but when we return home, quintus started being fussy. I tried to latch him, he cried. Make him sleep, he cried. Then I told TW who is on his laptop, that I don't know what quintus wants. TW ignored, which I'm used to it. Then later on his pacifier dropped and the new one is quite difficult for me to reach especially when quintus is crying really loud. So I asked TW to help me get Q's pacifier, but he was super pek chek, and he walked over to where all their pacifier and milk bottles were - and not even searching for the pacifier, he gave me a look like he don't know where is the pacifier. Then Mildred came out from toilet, and gave me what I needed. TW said something under his breath, I need to work and walk back to his laptop, a little frustrated. I seldom ask him for help. And this is what I get. So I ask what is he doing, and he told me "work la". I asked "Isit very urgent", and he mummered "fei hua, u think I got nth better to do". -.-
And last Sunday, when Mildred had her off day, I was making q sleep. He finally slept, but not deep in sleep. Thus, I held on to him. Then I told TW to make milk and send riordan for his morning nap. Then he just shoot back, I don't know how to make milk. I shoot back and said i don't know either. End up, r didn't get any milk and went to nap. My point is, as a father of two, u don't even know how to make milk ? Or not even interested to learn. And then later on, he went to nap after riordan sleeps. So later at 12, after r wakes up, i started to feed r. But q was fidgeting in sarong. So I had to go inside the room, rock him, come out to feed r. Repeats about 3 times, I decided to wake TW up. Told him I need his help to rock q. He SLOWLY stroll out....... And started rocking q, but after 10 mins disappeared... and I realise he went toilet. I thought it's just for awhile, so again I split myself into 2 to make sure both kids are attended to. Left r alone for awhile, while I rock q. Only to realize r spill the bowl all over. After 5 mins, I knocked the toilet door and told TW I need help. And he just told me "I LS" sighhhh. I am sooooooo pek chek. He is just being him, yet again. Placing himself at the toppest priority. Then he popped a medicine, had his lunch and went back to sleep again. About 3 plus, he woke up and hey! He's going for his football!!!
Then yesterday, when he returned home from work, and after he finished his dinner, riordan run to him with books. TW never even look at him. Then I sacarstically said "ur daddy don't even want to give u another look". Then TW took the books from riordan. I thought he wanted to read to him. Instead he ask riordan, "what is this?" Of cos riordan can't reply. Then he close the book and ask r to stack those mini books up. Then i injected again. Saying "can't u read to him? Why ask him to stack the books?"
So I took the books over, (while latching q), and started reading to r. Then tw's was lying on the sofa, so r has no space to sit, and he had to stand beside tw's very nice feet. I told TW to put his feet away. Then he become very pekchek saying I nag at him and whatever he does or not do, I have things to say. Then he threw tantrum
At r. When r purposely throw a book near TW, he scolded R and ask him to pick it up. After r picks up, he said I had enough nonsense from both of u. No more bullshit from u two from today on. He walked into the masterbedroom, and close the door loudly.
Sigh.
... I really wished he could spend more effort in his kids. Many times he will also take for
Granted that Mildred is around to help. But i don't really like the fact that my kids are close to helpers. But I cannot care for
Two at the same time. We often have disagreement and arguments especially when my mum is not around.
U understand my concern? Sometimes when I see sam knowing how to handle his own kids, I really hope TW can be half like him, or when I heard my friends hubby offering help, I can't help but to feel envy of them.
The best thing that can happen for me is to see TW and r/q bonding together, knowing that he would guide and teach his own son. It is more than just, ensuring he has enough milk powder, having his vaccinations taken, or disciplining him through yelling or simply just by saying "no" when r is at fault. But many times, TW just give excuses like "q don't like me to carry." Or I'm tired, etc....
I just wanted to ask if it's normal for me to feel this way, or should I be more understanding towards TW and accept the way he is. This marriage has become a lot of giving in, and enduring. Isit suppose to be like that?
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