It's going to be a family of four in the new year! So exciting. So challenging. So blessed. So joyful. Thank you daddy God for being our provider.  

Last day of 2014

So today is the last day of 2014. The most challenging year in my life would be this year. And it's also a life changing one for me. I braved through pregnancy and childbirth and has come to know what is motherhood all about. I am so thankful for everything. I am so thankful my breastfeeding relationship with R has surpassed what I have aimed! Thankful for such a lovely boy and a joyful family. Thankful that my mum is recovering well from her depression and that brother has finally got himself a family he calls his own. Looking back, I just want to jot down on the things I hAve learnt. 

The friendship with kaya. It was short yet memorable. Terrible pity to lose a friend because of my insensitiveness. 

My limited time with mum. Time is flying faster than we know and I really need to start cherishing each day with my mum. 

My marriage. I should really stop micro picking faults with my husband and start jotting down the nice things he has done. 

Ok will pen down more when i have the  inspiration. Till then take care !

And so the pregnancy is confirmed. Hopefully this would be a smooth process. My nursing relationship is also about to end. But I'm glad nothing much changes. My baby is still able to sleep after he drinks his formula milk. 

Seems like today Will mark the end of my breastfeding relationship with my boy. Gave in to his request last night and tonight by topping up extra fbm. I mean seeing his smile is the best thing. So I shall release the comfortness and shelfishness in me. 

Suspecting that I'm pregnant with second one too. Used 2 test kits. Going for the scan this Friday. Hope all would be well. 

Lift this up to gods hand. Dear daddy god. I'm thankful for what u hV planned for me so far. 

Felt that our relationship is drifting apart. But I shall not pin point anything to him since he always say it's me who is trying to pick fight. Just go with the flow. 

Anyway what is important now is what I can do for my baby. I really need to find out ways to increase my milk supply! Where did my supply go suddenly. Been praying about it. Oh lord please give me abundance of milk flow for little riordan. I am really not ready to give up latching him. I enjoyed it so much. Call me possesive but it's a time where mommy and son bonds all alone. And how many times it has provided comfort to him. 

Dear daddy God. Please please bless me with abundance of milk supply once again. I will do all things to keep it. Such as not getting pregnant again. 

I would really miss all of Riordan's baby moments! Though the first 3 months were tough and stressful... The returns were definitely priceless! His smile.... His milestones. The two teeth. Sitting on baby chair. Sitting in his own. First solid food. When his neck grew stronger. His guest byebye wave. His first magazine shoot. Everyday theres smth to look forward to 

The joy of being a mother

I felt that I have to blog this amazing feeling down and smile at this entry in years to come when I look back. 

The 3 of us ended the night late as there was a wedding to attend at mbs. Can't was of course KO after his persistence in keeping awake so that he can observe the people and surrounding. 

But him being him. He woke up 30mins later while we pushed him back to the car. 

On the journey back home the little sleepyhead lay down against my chest and slowly dozing off. It was a wonderful feeling. I never thought I could love anyone so dearly other than my own mum and hubby. 

The love is so strong that it would engulf me. Like I totally wouldn't mind giving up my life for this little baby. So that's motherhood. It was really a terribly joyful process. I felt that I have grow so much. I learnt what unconditional meant. Everything I do, I do it with all my heart. My willing heart. 

No wonder everyone misses the baby process. It's like they are suffice with mummy's presence and everything seems to amuse them. It's their first to experience everything. Their every expressions makes us laugh. Every actions. Every sounds. 

Just wanna thank God for giving us such a wonderful gift. Thank you for giving me the strength and wisdom to take care of my baby boy. I can't be more bless. 

Baby riordan. Your smile is my everything 

Day 1: udelle's tummy aches. Wanna go jalan ahlor to have dinner. But it rained! Stayed indoor instead. 

Day 2: Head to klcc. Then dinner at pig place. Uvw gets cranky. W was passed over on the table. And watermelon juice spilled! Soak the birthday girl. Bil went to get new shorts for her. Chose m. But m had a hole! Chose s. End up s too small. Bil ran back. And get another design in m size. 

Day 3: head to mid valley and sungei wang. Water bag for uvw spilled. Hot water spilled in waterproof bag. 

Day 4: heading back. TW car got hit by stone! Our charsiew shop is closed. TW and I got lost on the way to jusco. Cannot buy udelle's milk powder. Milk powder for mine so hard to open. v vomit. And puke. Trish giddy and back ache. W fever and cranky.  

Lastly. Got stuck in a 5 hour jam. 

Happy long weekend everyone 

New updates

My life is great now. Helper just came along last Friday. And she's good so far! Helped me with many organizing. Cleaning and she can even make baby r sleep! My breakfast is prepared and I finally get to sit down and read newspaper without getting distracted! You know after 5 mths.... Not counting the 9 mths of pregnancy.... I finally can be myself again! :) 

I'm going to gym. To swim in awhile!!  Time to work my body yo! 

My lowest weight so far :)

Sigh quarrelled with TW again. But on brighter side baby is soooo guai. He's so quiet. Like he knows both mommy and daddy are upset. Or rather mommy is upset n daddy is just angry and sleepy. N he's fast asleep on the couch right now. 

Just an update

Seems like mummy's condition is getting better :) I think she is managing it well right now. Especially after the article is published and we are convinced that the other party isn't up to anything fishy. 

By the way I have applied pgde teaching education. Hopefully I will be short listed and get through the interview. 3000 plus salary. Much better than what I'm getting now. Totally a waste of time asking me to work in jumbo. Sigh. To think I might get a pay raise after I'm back. But can't blame them. I am now more family focus and I can't really care much of my work. 

We are going for out road trip in mid October. And by the time we will have a maid already! Can't wait for everything to fall in place I hope the maid won't let us down. I hope she will be a great helping hand. 

3 gens :)

Too far

Went to see the doctor with mummy today. She will get better. At least that's what I believe. That mummy will be able to walk out of her worrisome days. Sigh it saddens me that mummy still have to suffer all these pressure after so many years. If god is putting her to a test, has this test gone abit too far? :( 

Mommy's little girl

I am blogging this because I never want to forget this feeling. The feeling where I cling my hands into mummy's arm. And lying down on her shoulder like mummy's little girl. I am the most fortunate daughter in the whole world. No one has a better mummy than me. And then mummy use the other hand to touch my head. N then mummy said 妹你记得你小时候每次都会突然间来抱我吗？I started to tear because the moment is so sweet. She knows. Mommy wipe my tear and told me not to cry she will be alright. Mummy jiayou. Mummy I love you. So much words cannot express and I hope to do something for u. I hope I can do something for u. Mummy is jus so extraordinary. God. Can the hurdle ahead of her be taken away? I just want her to be happy. 

Having a baby is no doubt tiring. I basically have no free time to do anything else. And it suck when my husband don't recognise my effort. And is not the sort who take initiative to give me a helping hand in any ways. Note to self not to have a second child. Babies are really cute. But it would drive me crazy when I have to go through all these alone. 

One of the keys to success

“It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.” ― Chuck Palahniuk

You are a slave to your past. Yes, your life might include unfortunate events that are worth getting upset about, but these mishaps are meaningless when viewed through the context of your entire existence. Since your future happiness is determined by how you react in the present, don’t you think it’s time to forget about the past?

I am so confuse

Sigh. I can't seemed to do anything right. I made a mistake again. I grumble about taking care of my baby again. My poor baby. I don't side serve to be called a good mother. Two days ago we went to trish place to eat. And they did a table setting where all four corners has dining mats instead of the usual three. I was puzzled when bil took the seat that is back facing the tv. I asked him why he don't want to watch tv. It had never crossed my mind they placed it that way so that they can keep a lookout at my own son. And I happily took my usual seat that is facing the tv and back facing my poor son. Why why why. Why am I always thinking about myself first. Sigh. I feel down. Feel lousy. Sometimes I sent to get away from the house I'm staying in.  I want to show hubby how angry I am with him. How I cannot take his stubbornness anymore. But I know I am super immature. He is not even angry at me for being so hot temper like slamming cabinet doors and all that. Yet I am thinking of doing so many nasty stuff to him. He thinks about our future. Worrying that once he leave the world who is there to take care of me and r. He is planning for the future yet I am angry at him over the silliest thing. Sigh. 

End up my mum is not able to commit herself to take care of my baby. I ended up switching my work to 3 day work week. My first reaction was happy. Because I get to see my baby more frequently. But when the night falls, I started to feel the tiredness. Just the thought of taking care of him 24/7 makes me fearful already. 

Being a sahm isn't easy. No rest day. No friends. No activities. Only baby here baby there :( I really forsee I can't do it. But what to do, after my maternity leave is used up. I will have to quit my job and be R's caregiver. Sigh..

I need to start smth to do. Either freelance or start cooking. If not I will be super bored and grumpy. And my rs w hubs will suffer 

2nd day back at work. So far so good. Getting enough night sleep. Even though I don't dare to think what will happen to me in the next few months / years. But thankfully my mum is able to help me take care of my little baby. Never felt more assured with this arrangement. I kinda like the break away from taking care of my boy. The constant guessing of what he wants when he whines. The constant fear of him waking up when he is sleeping on the flat motionless space and ostraciZing the rocking cradle. Hope my mother is enjoying taking care of him. 

So I've kinda went back to my pre preg weight after 2 mths. Weighing the lowest at 48.8kg and highest at 50.2kg. :)

I recalled I was about 62-63kg on the last weight measurement before I gave birth. So it was a total of 14-15kg. After birth I become 55kg. Which I dropped 7kg straight. And then took 2 mths to shake the other 7kg off. Yay! Well done girl!

Anyway. Saying that I like the break away doesn't mean I don't miss my son. I really miss him so much. Watching his smile and taking care of him. It brightens me up when I know he doesn't want anyone else but me. I think he can recognise me. If not, the smell of my boobs. Haha. Can't wait for Thursday. Rush home. And spend the weekend with my 2 month old and 1 week baby! I love you R!

Self reflect

U know my last entry was just saying how I want to be a better person who knows my self worth. But it's rather hard. Tang isn't the sort who sings me praised all he time nor sweet talk me. Instead he could be rather straight forward and most of the time impatient with everything. 

Today I started ranting again when he told me he don't want to go to my aunts place. He told me he's like that since day 1 and insist that he won't change. Sigh. Anyway just to share the print screen. To remind myself that he knows and appreciates what I've been doing. 

Dear god. I pray that tang will listen to me more, get into my family more and be more understanding. 

Reminder

Here is a post to remind myself.

Two days ago when mil was here and grabbed baby from my hands when I failed to pacify him. I hated it when some one else can do a better job in pacifying my own baby.  Which was why I kind of hated the CL for certain times.

And then I went into the room and breastfeed baby at 6plus. Hubby walked in the room. I told him I miss Aunty. And then I admitted that I threw tantrum on her sometimes. He said he knows. He saw it a few times. He said I don't know how am I behaving. There were a few times I'm angry at her but I never did it infront of hubby. Yet hubby said he knows. Which means there were really times that I threw my temper without realising. 

Hubby knows. I just want to say the things thay I've done. He knows. I don't have to purposely blame him for not doing things. I don't have to look for appreciation. Because he knows them just that he don't say it. 

He always try his best to help. I must remember. 

I just discovered something. The messages that hubby sent to kaya. Hub sort of speak up some good words for me. Saying ive matured a lot and not that emo anymore. And then saying I'm the last person who brags. But I'm contented. I'm so touched by his words. I never heard him say all these to me  

Kaya didn't mention to him about how I took her photo to take part in the competition and won it. Sigh. Taking her photo is nothing. The swey part is I won something. :( maybe I should buy her an air ticket to Korea. If we were to reconcile one day. 

I have this stress when baby is alone with me. To breastfeed or bottle feed. To out on yaolan or not. Is he hot? Is he dirty after feed? Will I wake him up if I wipe him. Burp?! Diaper?? All these....... I'm going bonkers. 

Dear god. I pray that u take away my worries and mould me into a confident mummy who can enjoy the process of taking care of my baby. 

Dear lord I pray that u take care if Riordan's fussiness and not make it be part of his character. I pray for him to be more n more like u. Lord, he's been crying non stop n only stops when placed in the sarong. However I do not wan him to b so attached to the sarongs as it may be bothersome in future. Sigh, lord. I don't know if I'm doing anything correctly. I pray that you lead me. 

In Jesus name. Amen

I hate confinement. I wanna go out!

Can't wait for confinement to be over. :( Friday. Saturday. And half a Sunday. I think I can do everything by myself now. I am prepared. 

Tomorrow hub and I are going out together. Just both of us. He's going to get me a gift. Hehe.

Anyway I am in a dilemma and I need God to guide me. I bought a spring cot. It is to ease our day time. So that we can have more time to do housework or rest. But I don't want r to get too addicted to it. I am afraid that he will not want to sleep when we are outside and have to rush back for sarong. And i have issues telling Aunty all these. Recently she has been showing me attitude. She will not look at my eyes when I talk to her. Maybe I control too much. But didn't explain my concern to her. 

It's okay left with 3d2n! Can't wait for my mummy to come and be with me!

Cannot stand the confinement lady!!! She is so attitude :( sigh can't wait for her to go back. 

Amazing

Dear god. Ure amazing. I prayed than when hubby holds Riordan, he would enjoy it. And stop his cries because by this way I won't be tire out. And the following day, which is today... It happened! Riordan slept peacefully in his daddy's arms. 

God. You work in wonderful ways. Thank you for giving me so much support throughout and after pregnancy..!

Praise The Lord! :)

Dear lord. I thank you for answering my prayers. I thank you that you did not keep me waiting. Thank you for the blessings you've showered upon me and baby. I thank u for a happy family. :)

Riordan is much better now. He does not cry after his feeds. He doesn't keep puking. ;)

Dear lord. I lift Riordan up in ur hands. Lord. U say prayer changes things. I pray for a change in Riordan's small little life. He has been crying in discomfort for many days. And his stomach will be stiff during such cries. Lord, I pray that you take away discomfort from him. Allow me to understand this little baby's needs through his cries. Lord, I pray for wisdom and instinct to take care of Riordan well. I pray that even in the midst of Riordan's cries I will be able to act calmly. And know exactly what to do for him. 

Dear lord. I thank u for this little miracle. I thank u for supplying his food in a miraculous way. Thank u for blessing him to sleep well in most hours. I pray for a healthy and happy boy.

Thank you Jesus.

In your name, amen

Sigh. So many to learn to take care of baby. Somehow when I carried baby, baby always end up wailing even more loudly. And when CL took over, he will be sleeping soundly :( god. Help me to be able to soothe my crying child. 

Prayer changes thing.

My childbirth experience was so surreal. God is with me all the time. Let me share what happened. I was admitted to hospital at 1pm. And my epidural and induce drip is administered to me by 1.40. After that it's all waiting time. Waiting time with my big heavy legs and big tummy is restraining my movements. 

Anesthelogist told me to turn my body every 1-2hrs n I did that feeling numb and afraid that my needle at the back would drop off. 

Anyway it was 4.5hours of waiting before doctor lim came in n said I was only 1.5cm dilated. I worried. Because my energy is depleting. I am hungry. I am uncomfortable. I am tired. I am impatient. 

I prayed for god to intervene. I recall the verse. Do not worry about anything. Instead pray for everything. So I kept praying. I prayed for a healthy boy. I prayed for an escalated increase in cervix opening. 

And I am thankful god answered all of them! I am so blessed that after 5 more hours of waiting, my cervix has open to 8cm. And shortly after a midwife cane and help me push. Hubby also supported me with my head. Midwife ask him to come see Riordan's hair. Hahaha 

I prayed for strength while I pushed. And within 30 mins. Riordan is out. It is amazing. After 40 weeks and 5 days of waiting. Our baby finally arrived to the world safe and sound. 

And the next thing I worried about was breastfeeding because i had no milk first 3 days. I kept rubbing my breast while Riordan latch on. I couldn't figure out the positioning. I worry so much I can't sleep. I am so stress and lonely. No one to talk to. But I prayed for god to intervene again. Prayed for milk supply to come in. Prayed for Riordan to know how to latch well. Then the next morning. God answered everything. A nice lactation nurse came. And checked my nipples. Told me my milk is coming in and Riordan is latching on perfectly. A masseu came in and told me I have milk as she massaged me. And then when I borrowed nail clipper from one of the nurses. Guess what? The keychain says. Prayer changes things. 

Not only has god answered my

prayer. He comforted me through various ways too. I teared as I saw that. I have so many peoole around me encouraging me. Tricia, Louise, Audrey, Weiyuan. 

I gotta be strong. And god will help me through all. 

Praise The Lord! Dear father, I lift Riordan up in ur hands. Continue to bless him like u blessed the whole pregnancy! 

Frankly, after the first check at 515pm dr say im only 1.5cn dilated, hubby n I was kinda thinking it will be a long labour. 

 But I kept praying for a miracle. N true enough, 940pm, doc said I'm 8cm and is a good sign. Thank you Jesus! Praise The Lord! :) 

In 1.5 hours time, I started pushing! 1120 - 1143pm. I prayed for strength. I prayed for Jesus to take over the labour. And I did it! Baby is out! Ohh that moment.. I was shivering a lot after that. But when baby is on top of me, I stopped shaking. 

I kept calling out Riordan ... Riordan. Awwww. Soooo amazing. N doctor also praised what a great job I have done. 

:) 

New born review

Brought him to his first new born review on 17 April. That was the first time I saw him crying because he feels painful from the needle that took his blood. I feel painful in my heart to watch him cry yet can't do anything about it. I nearly teared.. 

AmaZing

Birth is amazing. A life popped out of ur womb. Suddenly the 10 mths seems so worth it. God's gift indeed. Our bundle of joy has arrived and he's going to take a toll on us but it's all worth it. Really. Nothing matters most now. I love my son! So much. Thank God. Hallelujah.

My little joy

1145-1225am was the last feed and he is sucking more promptly without much waking up needed. So cute to be seeing him suckling. So happy my ducts are opened. I love him! Thank God Jesus!

And then he pooed too! So happy to see him slowly developing and 'functioning' well. :) my joy!

Praise The Lord! Dear father, I lift Riordan up in ur hands. Continue to bless him like u blessed the whole pregnancy! 

Frankly, after the first check at 515pm dr say im only 1.5cn dilated, hubby n I was kinda thinking it will be a long labour. 

 But I kept praying for a miracle. N true enough, 940pm, doc said I'm 8cm and is a good sign. Thank you Jesus! Praise The Lord! :) 

In 1.5 hours time, I started pushing! 1120 - 1143pm. I prayed for strength. I prayed for Jesus to take over the labour. And I did it! Baby is out! Ohh that moment.. I was shivering a lot after that. But when baby is on top of me, I stopped shaking. 

I kept calling out Riordan ... Riordan. Awwww. Soooo amazing. N doctor also praised what a great job I have done. 

:) 

Prayers

Do not worry about anything instead pray about everything. 

Dear lord, I thank u for today. For bringing me yet another step closer to the miracle u have given me and teckwah. 

Thank u for guarding me n baby well throughout the pregnancy. It has been a very blessed journey even tho there were ungreat moments. 

Father, please allow my cervix to dilate in great speed that none other can imagine. Perform a miracle on me n give me the strength to push n preservere. To be brave and strong. Take over my delivery n turn my weakness to strength. 

Prayers

Do not worry about anything instead pray about everything. 

Dear lord, I thank u for today. For bringing me yet another step closer to the miracle u have given me and teckwah. 

Thank u for guarding me n baby well throughout the pregnancy. It has been a very blessed journey even tho there were ungreat moments. 

Father, please allow my cervix to dilate in great speed that none other can imagine. Perform a miracle on me n give me the strength to push n preservere. To be brave and strong. Take over my delivery n turn my weakness to strength. 

It's the day

Currently waiting for epidural to be administered to me. My mild contractions are gone. The blood leaking was call a show. I was inserted with the fleet to make me pass motion. Nth like how I imagined. Not painful so far. :D 

Can't wait to see my active son. The ctg tracked him to be really active lol. 

Praying hard there will be no pain for epidural! 

Is this the show?

2am: felt smth flows out. Checked and saw pinkish liquid on underwear and feels sticky. Sat down in toilet bowl and felt smth pass out but I couldn't tell what is it because my toilet bowl water is blue. Monitor.... Since no cramp or doesn't feel like waterbag.

Started to feel light cramping for a few times, a little like stomach ache. 

3am: felt liquid coming out again. Checked and this time panty liner clearly shows pinkish liquid. Sat down on toilet bowl and again smth flow out. Looks like mucus jelly. But I don't know the color since toilet bowl water is blue.

3.21am: no other signs

4plus am: slept through

721am: pink liquid again. Slightly more this time n redder 

830am: Now I'm feeling the mensus cramp, backaches and all. 

How we started

I still smile at the thought of it. That night he sent me home and I was a little tipsy. Before I got down his car, I looked at him and then the kiss just happened. I touched his head, we had a long kiss. After that he stroked the back of my head and we bid each other goodbye. When we were at lunar, we already started holding hands under the table. So secretive and high! :) so the kiss that follows was like a confirm chop - let's be together sign. 

Anyway, he sent me a long message after that telling me to take the plunge. He mentioned our wide age gap and all that. But I was too drunk to think straight. I think I gave him a very fast reply and then off to bed I went. 

I never thought this would be a serious relationship. I thought it would be another fling. Until the next morning.... He texted me saying that he already told 303 we were an item. Then I realise. He was serious. 

And then he was really sweet on the second day. Telling me 'official pampering starts today'. He picked me up from my place. And then got me Anna Sui perfume that I wanted. :) for a moment, I felt like a princess. Really. 

And then we started going out quite often. And escalators became our favourite hugging moments. Oh I really miss that. I still get wet just by thinkng of it. Haha. And his soft and fleshy palms..... They are so nice to hold. So secure. So reliable. So warm. And so comfortable. :) 

2 years and 11 mths since we got tgt. And I can't believe how much I love him even until now. Given my character...... I love you hubby darling. So much so much..Muack!

My son full of character

Seems like another day is going to pass. Hubby asked me to change gynae appointment to Friday instead. So most likely I'd be induced on Friday too. April 11, 2014. It's 2 days from now :) 

Although I'm still hoping for a drama moment. But either ways are fine. So long baby is healthy. 

Im going to see my naughty son soon!

Sweet things from hubby.

He told me he's going to take leave this Friday to accompany me before I get induced for labour.

He thinks for my lunch everyday. He will private text trish to ask her get lunch for me early in the morning.

He worries for me. He ask me to text him every 2 hours. 

When I told him I'm cooking dinner, he told me not to carry heavy pots.

When I told him I can get dinner so he don't have to park his car, he insisted that he do it because he don't want me to walk.

Oh and good news! He shared with me that he will be promoted to senior sm this coming July! Yay! Happy for him that he is progressing at work. I think this is very motivational. Pay increase too. Not too sure how much though. :)

40 weeks and 3 days

Oh hi there. I'm still pregnant. Seriously after so many weeks of waiting and anticipating.....  No labour symptoms surfaced.. But I've already gone so far. What's a few more days to wait? I am just a little disappointed with my own body. Why no come? I was waiting for this adrenaline where we will panic and get excited and start packing to go hospital. But nothing like that leh. So peaceful and calm. This Saturday would be the induce if I still haven't pop by then. 

I am on my fourth day of maternity leave now. Luckily I heed my mom's advice to take leave only at the last minute! Just that my leg was hurting that's why I took one day in advance. anyway, had I not listened to my mum and start my leave at week 38, I would have accumulated a huge pile of cobwebs on myself by now. I still feel that it's abit wasteful though. To be waiting and doing nothing. I guess I just have to enjoy this me time like I always wanted. 

And to practice cooking. Monday's dinner was abc soup and braised chicken wings. Last night dabao. Tonight I will attempt to make minced pork beancurd. And abc soup again. Got to use up my cabbage! 

The past

I am looking at my past entries in youknowsometimes. Wow. The long period where I allowed myself to be drown in bgr, nicotine and alcohol was scary. I allowed myself to get involve with so many guys that I'm not even interested in but end up it does more harm than good. Every single entries are negative. And the empty feeling doesn't get away. It just got worse. And it hurt the people around me.  

So glad that it's all over. And in an instant after I met mr T, everything just become stable and well ;) he loves me, pampers me, scolded me, teach me. To become a better person. I still remembered how he calls me a weakling full of excuses when I told him I smoked because I'm upset. I still remembered how he nagged at me and told me abt his past relationship would always be quarrelling over small things. I still remembered how he ignored me and refuse to come home when I chose to walk alway during an argument. One thing abt him is, he won't get angry at u or mind things any o how. Unless u do it first. But when u throw temper any o how. That's it. He makes sure u suffer the consequence and see if u still dare to do it next time. Of course don't dare. That's why.... We never had big disputes. That's why I love him. He can control me and he doesn't make me angry :) one thing I hate most about people or guys, is time management. But he is always so good with time management. He is so routine. And so consistent. There's really nth it can complain about. :)

Okay. Enough. When is baby popping!

Going crazy thinking when will baby pop

I seriously hope it's going to happen today. My labour. Sighh, what's keeping the baby from coming out.. Isit really so comfortable to be in there? Hmmmmm. 

Check up hopefully the last!

Standing at 39 weeks and 6 days today! Went for checkup and doc lim said that Riordan has faced down!!! Oh my obedient boy. Really listens to mummy and daddy :) so happy! And doc say baby is much lower too. It's a good sign. Hopefully he is guai to come out tomorrow too. That's his actual due date anyway. Cross fingers! 

The dates :)

May 7 2011 - got together 

Jul 22 2011 - hong kong 

Dec 31 2011 - Taipei 

Feb 21 2012 - propose 

Jul 29 2012- ROM 

Dec 31 2012 - Japan 

Feb 28 2013 - Bridal shoot 

May 1 2013 - house ready! 

June 23 2013 - wedding dinner 

June 25 2013 - BKK honeymoon golf trip Pregnant! 

Dec 22 2013- Hong Kong trip 

Apr 7 2014 - Arrival of Riordan

So you have pain now; but I will see you again, and you hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.” (John 16: 19-22)

I love u, son.

Listening to our march in song right now. With my unborn son. :) hey Riordan darling, this is mummy and daddy's wedding song. This is how we have you. :) I love you son. 

39 weeks and 4 days

That's it. I've succumbed to the pain after 2 whole weeks. Tomorrow marks the official day of my maternity leave. 

I can't walk without feeling the pain on my right hip that links to my lower back. Each time I toss around in bed it aches like a bitch. 

I'm going to spend my day talking and reading to Riordan tomorrow. Realize I haven been giving him much pre natal teaching or talking to him. I'm also going to pray n read some encouraging entries for childbirth. 

This evening I saw hubby's email to baby. Asking him to come out soon to ease my pain. I thought it was really sweet. Nearly teared. :) He also ask me to text him once every 2 hour. So that he knows I'm fine. Haha. Love. Can. Be. So. Simple. 

Reminder to self

Every minute that passes brings me a step closer to having baby in my arms. Be focus on the fact that the baby I've been carrying for the past 9 mths is going to come out in a couple of time. Re... Lax... And breathe. 

Hot!!

Feeling so hot. Wonder if it's the weather or isit me. My hands and feet are so warm now. Whenever I move a little, I would feel sweat ticking out of my skin. So I'm not moving anywhere. Just sitting here and watch bride of the century. My hips are so painful to walk with. So, I'm basically sticking at home this weekend and not doing anything. Hubby cleaned and vacuum the house yesterday while i sit and watch drama. :)

Can't believe my labour is going to start in a few days time. I hope it's not a drama labour symptom. I hope to dilate by myself before I enter the labour ward. 

Jiayou!!

List of people who cares.

The people to thank and notify when I give birth

1. Gm 

2. Auddy

3. Louise 

4. Niang 

5. Twinnie

6. Fishes/Yeesan 

7. Artbox

1. Confinement lady

2. Karen / Amy

3. Brother / Chloe

The checkup on 38weeks 6days

Bam. It hit me so bad. Doctor just said my cervix is CLOSED. I am so scared and disappointed. The internal checking was so uncomfortable. It's like he is digging for something inside with all his fingers and all just might. :( yet turn out my cervix is not even opened. 

And then he says baby's head is not facing down yet. So when he go pass the birth canal it might be a problem for him. 

I have walked so far with Riordan. Really dowan anything to happen to me and him. God, take away all complications and let Riordan be born in the best circumstances. 

Yet another day

Nope. Not today at 38 weeks 6 days. Contractions didn't come. Blood not spotted. Just feeling slightly hungry. Haha. Another day of waiting! I shall clean the house again this week then.  Yawnz

Childbirth

Talking to Tricia bout childbirth. I suddenly have this adrenaline rush! Scared yet brave. Nervous yet calm. It's like a heart prepared to run a marathon ahead of me!! Today seems like the best day of my mood to give birth. I am actually quite sure it's going to happen tonight. A gut feeling. :D 

The website says u will feel a sudden burst if energy. I am counting on that point and praying for tonight! 

Nervous! Shivering in excitement!!!

God's words

Philippians 4:6-7 – “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” 

2 Cor. 12:9 - “My grace is enough; it is all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become!” 

“Birth is God’s time. It can’t be rushed or programmed to suit anyone’s clock. It is a time to simply be there, respecting the woman’s space and the natural rhythms of her body. Think of how time ceases to have relevance when you are caught up in the presence of God worshipping Him or when you are in love and spending time with your beloved. Time flies by and you barely notice. Birth time is the timing of nature. Who knows when spring will come? Can a budding flower be found open? Yet in time, these things unfold. So does birth. I sometimes suggest to my clients that they visit the ocean and see the rhythm of the waves on the shore. That right there teaches you, deep within, so much about the patterns, rhythms and power of labor.” – Julie Bell

Isaiah 26:3 – “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you: because he trusts in you.” Keep your mind on Jesus and the peace that passes all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:7). Focus your mind during your labor…do not let it stray to focus on the pain and process, but rather on Jesus and His sustaining grace. This verse really spoke to me while preparing for my birth. I memorized it and quoted it to myself throughout the most challenging moments of my delivery. It was such a blessing.

1 Peter 5:7 – “Cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.”

Hebrews 10:35-36 - “So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! [A baby!] Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that He has promised.” 

James 1:3-4 “For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” (NLT)

Friday March 28?

Dear Riordan, mummy hope ure hearing this. Will u give mummy some labour signs and  pop on Friday? Ure getting heavier and heavier and mummy's poor back cannot really carry u much longer. U will have many cousins waiting to play and cuddle u. U have mummy and daddy looking after u. Grandparents doting on u. So come out soon okay. We all love you and waiting for u this Friday. 

Back pain

Yesterday night when hubby and I were on the bed preparing to sleep, I felt my usual right  back pain. So I positioned my knuckle right underneath the pain and sleep. Hubby noticed it and asked why am I sleeping on my back when I'm feeling the pain there. I told him I wanted to support the back. Told him don't bother about me. After awhile, he donated his pillow to me :) thought it was quite sweet because he seldom take notice of me, or even when he knows what's the problem, he wouldn't really take the extra effort to care for u. So. I'm happy :) 

Ouch part 2

Sigh, walking hurts now and it's demoralizing because as much as I don't want to look like the typical pregnant woman, I'm finding myself more n more like them. I support my back. I waddled. I walk with two legs spreading open. Argh! I'm only at a young age of 27. This can't b happening to me. 

Riordan, mummy teach u how to spell 'tonight' okay? T-O-N-I-G-H-T

Pop tonight okay. :)

My rest day

I took leave today to enjoy me time. I totally love it. To laze around at home not forgetting to get some household chores done. Currently I'm experiencing some backaches at the lower back, that links to the right side of my butt. Ouch. 

And so last weekend was fruitful. I changed the bedsheets, mopped the floor and dust it again with magic clean. Wiped the dust in all rooms. Iron the clothes. Cleaned the fridge. Packed my things from mum's place. Organized baby's wardrobe(again). Never sick of doing so. Haha. Cleared the trash. Washed the bedsheet. Hang them dry. 

So right now I'm lazing and thinking of making dinner. Which I'm abit lazy to do. Because I have yet to buy the ingredients and my back hurts. But I'm still going to do it. This is probably my last chance of cooking in peace. I want to practice more before baby is out. 

I checked symptoms of labour yesterday and it says it will give u a sudden burst of energy and u will have a strong urge to keep everything in place. It's called nesting. And u will experience stabbing pains or ur back. I have both of these but don't think I am going into labour anytime soon. 

Probably I still need to visit doctor lim for one last time this Saturday before everything falls into place. 

By the way. Can I just say I am very proud of myself too? Because throughout the pregnancy I have not taken any leave or mc to rest at home, or taking advance leave to wait for pregnancy to happen. And then I carried heavy things my own, I packed the storeroom. I shifted hubby's cabinet around. Packed baby stuff ALL BY MYSELF! I am so so independent. And I don't bug my husband to get me food cravings. Or bug him with my emotional needs. Tho I do ask him to give me short massages here and there. :) 

Say if Riordan is soo obedient he decides to come out on his due date April 6, it means I only have 9 working days left! Oh, and the pain the pain. I think I need to be mentally prepared for the pain that I would go through in labour. I used to think a lot for my vagina. The cutting up, the stretch to accomodate baby's head. The stitching up. But my mum told me it's the contractions that are painful. Sometimes when I have an upset stomach I would relate the pain to that and imagine it multiplying 100 of course. It hurts. Yes. But yesterday mum told me about how she can't get down to bed to walk on the first night. Because her bottom hurts. Sigh, so look. There are two pains! Contraction is 1 tormenting long process and the tear is another one! Not only do I have to suffer the pain of stitches and healing, I'll have to face it. I'll have a loose vagina. Period. 

Okay. Stop looking at the bad side. It's a joy to see ur kid. He will bring ur bundles of happiness. So stop whining like a immature woman! 

Sooboon's bday

Met up with the girls today. It's the bkk girls. Oh. What a great gathering. Miss the moments with them especially with Kaili and sooboon. My cca buddies. So so much memories :) 

Ranting about work

Blogging from work place computer now.  Nothing much to do here, either I am too efficient or there's isn't enough work to do. Sometimes, I think its better off to have just one designer here. It will be so much more fulfilling. Hope ---> leaves soon! Right now, we just finished having lunch, but I dont even want to speak to ---> She is simply boring to talk to.

Other than that, boss just told me how big boss was torn to choose my designs because he likes both. :) That was really encouraging to hear! And sometimes when I look at my design I cant help but love it. As opposed to ---> hahaha.

There was one day when I walked into boss office and told him how I intend to split my maternity leave. He then told me he has plans for me. Got me so excited. WOnder what plans are ahead of me. Could it be promotion? I dont really care. I just want more pay!!!!!! I dont mind doing more work. But I really want pay increment to at least 3000. :(

Relationship

Seems like its been a long time since I talked about my marriage life. Which means its a good thing. I'm happy and blessed. Tang has been a really good partner and I really have nothing much to complain about. He is the same before and after marriage. Things like he refuse to say I love you. Or sweet talking me. Or washing plates and all that are things that I already know about even before marriage. 

And I begin to enjoy my me time at home more and without him around, I can do many housework. So each time he told me he's going golfing I would let him go. So that I can pack the house or think of something to cook for him.

Our xxx life has decrease tremendously. Maybe we will only be naughty once every 2 weeks. Sigh. I am okay with that frequency because I really can't do anything much now and I'm easily tired. But not too sure if he is accomodating me. I really want to keep him satisfied too. Maybe tonight. Hmmmm. 

18 more days!!

I am too excited to conceal my joy! I'm 18 days away from my EDD. Suddenly.... It feels soooooo near!!!! I can't wait!!! Will it be tomorrow? The day after tomorrow? Maybe this Saturday? Hahaha could it be April 1? Oh Riordan let mummy know when are u ready. Don't give mummy a surprise attack okay. Be guai ya. I love you! 

Right i always felt that this song lyric I love you before I met you was crap. How can u love anyone before meeting them. I guess this scenario is valid! I love you baby R. Even before mummy sees you, smell u, touch u. 

The things I hate about being pregnant

1. The nauseousness. I can still remember how my gastric churned every morning and there were a few times my second round of breakfast was 1 bowl of kway chap. Now the thought of having that for breakfast just kills me. It's too much! And then how I cannot brush my tongue because it makes me gag! 

2. Being fat. I am now 37 weeks and 2 days. Weighing almost 62kg. Oh my tian. I cannot fit in all my clothes now. Even those looser ones that I used to wear before pregnant. I miss my petite figure. And wearing body hugging dresses. I wonder if I can get my figure back!! 

3. My big nose. It's growing bigger and redder. Not everyone noticed it, but doesn't matter. I saw it and I think it's ugly! 

4. The pain at my ribs. It has bugged

me for many many months. 

5. When my breast meets my tummy. Just like how sumo wrestlers are. Yes. I feel the same. When the weather is hot, that part feels sticky and yucky. Now it's like tight. I have to sit up straight to avoid the pain. The uneasiness.

6. Not being able to eat whatever I feel like. Chilli. Coffee. Pineapples. Cold drinks. Forbidden food seems to taste nicer! Although I still take abit. Hehe

Feels like I enjoy pregnancy more than hating it :) I am glad 

Things I love about being pregnant

What I love about being pregnant 

1. The attention is always on u. Colleagues took extra care for me, even though some are making me uneasy. But I know they are being nice. 

2. Getting seats most of the time when taking public transport. I'm the sort who won't reject commuters who gave up their seat but never the sort who looks pitifully for seats. Which is why I always try not to stand in front of seated passengers. Paiseh :p

3. Getting to eat without feeling guilty! It's a whole of a big change I took about 4 mths to get use to it. I used to control my diet so so much. 

4. Documenting the bumps week by week. And watching it grow. But 33 weeks onwards was sufficient. I really hate to see it grow. My clothes don't fit anymore. N when I gym, I don't seem to hv any shorts that fits me. Tight!! 

5. Hubby helping out with housework. Can generously ask hubby to fetch n pick me up, even though I'm not really hard up on that.

6. Getting to eat bird's nest!

7. Looking at baby clothes n smelling them. They are so cute!!!! N the scent of it is so comfortable. 

8. Something to look forward to instead of mundanely working

9. Baby talks! The experiences from other mothers became like a supportive gauge for me. Tho I hate the 'u cannot eat this' u cannot drink that' naggings 

10. Watching the movements especially with hubby. Omg this is truly amazing. Watching a life right inside u moving about. Creating waves on ur tummy. N sometimes respond when u call his name or drum on my belly. Glad that I managed to video down the movements. But some throbbings are so frequent n persistent I kinda think it's disturbing. Dont get me wrong. I still love my baby. It just feels like constant hiccups. 

11. Getting to sleep early not because I want to but because my body needs to. Well, sleeping is a blissful thing to do!

12. Friends become super accomodating n will help me carry heavy stuff. Like sy, travelled all the way from her workplace to tampines. No complaints! Jus for me :) help to carry my groceries n wait for hubs to pick me. Louise also came over a few times to keep me company, bake with me n don't even allow me to squat or carry anything heavier than a glass of water!!! Sooboon also made it a point that I have n enjoy all the privileges. N she even picked for her birthday lunch to be at tampines just so it's near me :) n niang, taking me to the fair n help carry things n treating me eat nice food. N my own mother, making birds nest for me. Not easy to pick the feather out know!

13. Even though I look much rounder and now with a bigger tummy, i still feel that I am a much better looking mummy compared to other pregnant ladies out there. Hehe

5am now. Better catch a wink. Hope work tmr is fruitful !!! 

 

Pork porridge

Told hubby that I want to eat pork porridge. Viola. He brought me to bedok 85 market to get chai chee pork porridge. 

Feeling loved and important. Thank u darling!

Enjoying cookies n cream chocolate right now. Some luxury that I won't be able to enjoy after I give birth. Indulging every moment now! And please, if I'm reading back now, u gotta lose weight and be back to ur pre pregnancy weight of 48kg!!! 

61.8kg now. At 36 weeks n 6 days. 

Hubby say I will be in labour 1 week earlier. But I thought otherwise. Either 1, 2 days earlier or on the dot. 

Dr lim said that baby is not engaged yet. His head and shoulder still quite high up. 

Routine before birth

It's 11.08pm right now and I'm tired. Just ended our routine. Here it is 

7:04am bathe

7:30am prepare breakfast 

7:55am wash the plates and get ready

8:02am leave house

8:40am reach office

Work 

Lunch

6:15pm surf net and me time

7:15pm hop into car

Pack dinner

7:50pm reach home

8pm channel 5

9pm hot doors night

9:50pm bathe 

10pm kang xi

10:45pm feeling sleepy

11pm walk into room

Crash. Everyday. Monday - Friday. 

Wonder how ll this be changed after baby is out. Haha. 

Love the me time now :)

Suffering from cramps two days ago. Hold the pain for a good 10mins until I realise I can't even stand up to go to the loo. So I text hubby. 

Cramp. Painful. Can't even walk.

Labour? 

No. Probably from the cold iced tea I drank a moment ago. 

Must be. Riordan shivering inside

Hahaha. My husband is very cute and creative! 

Cherishing the now moments

Week 35 and 5 days.

As the date is drawing near, I felt more and more excited and impatient. I want to meet Riordan really soon. My stomach is huge now, no one say its small like they used to anymore. 

But at the same time I am scared. Afraid of the challenges placed ahead of me. Afraid of not knowing what are the things to do or not do to my baby or to myself. What if I had to wake up each hour every night just to make sure baby is well fed, is changed, safe and all that. I can't do without my sleep u know! 

I should really enjoy this moment where I have the time all by myself. The silence in the night. The tidiness of the house. Just me, Silvia n my thoughts :)

If there's anything I have learnt about life so far, it's to enjoy the now moment. 做人要活在当下. There are a lot of memories that I cherish a lot in the past but complain about too at the same time. But whenever I look back, I always felt it was the most blissful n happy moments. 

So I decided to be patient with my pregnancy. I shall not rush for baby to come out but instead cherish the time while I still have. Being carefree. Eat like glutton without feeling guilty. Having my me time at night. 

Oh how I love my life right now and I'm serious :) 

Random at week 34 + 5 days

Hello there! I'm nearing to my EDD. I always felt that Riordan will be out before the due date, since that's that case for most people. But recently I've been hearing some who past their due date and had to be induced and all that. And then many refer EDD as only a very vague guideline. 

I really hope it won't pass the due date because I really don't wanna hold R inside me for too long, afraid that my stomach will be bigger and bigger. And stretch marks surface. And I also wish to stop working soon! 

Movements. Baby's movements are huge! Sometimes he will roll from left to right. So my stomach wil protrude on the left then suddenly on my right. It's funny to see how he moves and it's so cute!!! 

Breathless. Last night. Don't knew what isit due to. Nauseous. A little, but not as bad of course. Just a slight urge of puking at times. Breast. Huge. Going to tear this dress of mine at the chest area. Seriously. 

I am so blessed

Met niang and twinnie today for lunch at imperial treasure. Felt so loved by them. Niang treated us for lunch, that's like a whole lot of yummy dimsum and roasted delight. Too yummyfied!

Then niang took me for shopping at taka baby fair. Bought a few little things for Riordan. Niang helped to carry the things and even paid for all the cotton balls! :( I am paiseh but I really so not how to reject her good intention. 

Then after that D-ye came and pick us up to dinner place at Clark quay. It's under fraser hotel affiliated to where twinnie was working. So we got to enjoy 50 percent off. And twinnie treated us! Omg. Then when going back, I really was just hoping that diye drop me off at mrt station yet he drove all the way to flora road for my sake... I hope they know how much I appreciate all these :( really paiseh know ....

But also happy and blessed to have these good people around me. So happy to feel loved and pampered.. Not to mention how my darling hubby fetched me from places to places. :) happy bird. 

Love

Last night before turning in. 

Dear.. U love me?

Hmm.

Do you love Riordan too?

Hmm.

We love you too.

And then he patted my head.

Bliss comes in this form :)

Goals 2014 set on feb 16

Health goals 

Return to work at 49kg during June

Eat loads of fish meat and vegetables 

Fruits!

Avoid carbs n poultry

Finance goals

If continue to work,

Hit 39,000 by December 2014

Save 1500 per month

Pay increment from JUMBO

During 3 mths confinement:

Save 1800 per mth! Unless paying for baby's necessities

Career goals 

Prep myself to be promoted. 

To be more detailed oriented 

Read n look more 

Come out with new art directions

Be more involved in all design n branding areas

Error free! Check check check!

Leads to a well deserved promotion!!

Family goals 

Clean n neat house

Healthy n cheerful baby

Happy n satisfied husband 

Save money 

Get a family insurance plan 

Help mummy to lead the life she enjoys 

 

Personality goals

Less temper More patience towards love ones

More love

Less gossips in office 

More focus at work n on baby 

Equally funny 

More responsible. N sensitive 

Cherish friendship

Sunday noon

Lazing around at my cosy crib on a Sunday. Never thought i could b so homely. Spent the morning making breakfast, ironing clothes n do a quick cleaning up. Expecting guests to arrive at 5pm. 

Anyway, I think I need a change in life. I need to b more outspoken and be willing to talk to anyone anywhere. About anything. I realise whenever I interact with hubby's friends I always appear really quiet especially when they are talking serious! I can totally shut off and be in my own world. Cannot cannot. Must tune myself up abit more and grow up. Stop living under people's care :)

Need to improve in chicken. Quite bland and dry...! Hehe

Valentine's day

2 years ago, today. He popped the question that changes our lives. 

We were at oats cafe located in punggol. And right there he slowly led into the topic of getting me a proposal ring. 

2 years later, today. We are married staying in a faraway yet cosy love nest. I'm now 32 weeks and 3 days pregnant! 

How very blessed. In less than 8 weeks time... We'll get to see our little creation. I pray that our son will be a healthy and happy baby. :)

Happy Valentines Day, hubby. And son. 

CNY 2014

The year of horse is finally in! Today is the 2nd day of Chinese New Year. 

Yesterday was the 1st time I joined dearie in his visiting. Of course his visiting can't beat mine!! Theirs involved going to the temple :( why! 

N then going to each other's place..... With the same group of people.... Hope to get him go to more of my uncle's n auntie's place next year!! :)

But it's also our first year giving out angpow! Hehe..! 

Scan on 29 weeks

Today's scan shows that baby's head is below. Left beside my belly button. :) 

Doctor says baby sure knows the right thing to do. Hopefully he stays there. Hopefully that's the reason why I'm feeling the pain in my ribcage.

Doctor says that everything is normal. No swell. No redness. Baby is fine. So I guess I just have to endure the bugging pain and stop complaining about it. 

Love my husband. Who always bring me to see the doctor. The frequency now to come here is once every two weeks! And it will be more frequent on the 36th week onward. 

:) blessed mummy. 

Ouch ribcage

My ribcage in the left hurts. I think it lasted for almost 2 weeks now. 2 weeks ago I thought it might be the underwire of my bra. And then it felt a little like gastric pain or indigestion pain. It's bothersome because the pain is there all the time, even though bearable. 

So 2 weeks ago when I see dr lim I

Told him I have gastric but didn't really get him to check maybe because I was still feeling that it could be due to my bra. Now I totally regret for not letting him check. 

2 more days to the check up. Hope by then the pain would go away. :( 

Wonder how big is Riordan now. Mum just commented that my stomach is big and round now! 

I am an outie now! Hahaa but dirt still stuck inside my belly button. Thought the lines inside will spread out. 

Feel ing riordan's movements getting stronger. Even though frequency so-so

Glad that I'm not experiencing leg cramps and all. Phew. 

Pregnancy again

It's 28 weeks and 2 days. And baby riordan is coming out to see the world in less than 12 weeks. 

We are going to be mummy and daddy officially! I am really excited and looking forward to see our complete family. 

We have also decided on baby's Chinese name. 董旋凯 Tang Xuan Kai, Riordan

Both names are given by his daddy. And I just got to say I'm loving this name more and more as I get familiarize with it. :)

Baby's kicking has become quite powerful. Can totally see my whole stomach moving. Sometimes when he turns, my stomach will form this large wave instead of the usual throb. Amazing. In 8 weeks time, it will probably grow twice stronger!? 

Frequency of gynae visiting has also increase to once every two weeks. Which I totally love it because I get to see my baby! :) the last scan, doctor lim even showed us how baby was tasting the water. His lips kept moving like as if he was enjoying suckling smth. Too lovingly cute. ^^,

Weight in the morning now is about 56.2kg. Luckily I am still under the weight gain of 10kg. Phew!

Okay I have to get back to work. Bye!

Chapter close

I think I finally am willing to give up the friendship with her. :) it's okay. My happiness comes from those who appreciates me. And I don't really have to prove anything to anyone to make them love me. Loving who I am now. Loving the life I have. Of course I always continue to strive to become a better person. To be more sensitive and be more thankful for friends around me. :)

Wow. I slept till 1pm today! Counting down to see hubby in 11 hours time! 😍 

Pregnancy so far

Most people told me my stomach is small considering I am 26 weeks now and us giving birth in 3 full months now. I felt that it's a little small too but definitely it's still growing. Very blessed to still keep my skinny limbs but my huge boobs are not sexy anymore. Guess it's the ugly nipples and how it is quite hard. :( 

I've been eating quite a lot these few weeks after coming back from Hong Kong. Finishing my mee pok add noodle. Hahahaha. Karen and Amy were either impressed or disgusted by my appetite. 

Sigh. I hope I can control abit more. I really dowan to be fat after birth. 

Baby R baby R, mummy can't wait for u to pop into the world! But mummy shall patiently feed and pretect u for another 3 more mths before u are prepared to see the light! 

Mummy can't wait to hug you. Play with u. And watching daddy taking care of you. Mummy love you. :)

Meat eating

Loads of meat eating today with Louise n gang at golden mile moo ka ta. Definitely not gg to indulge like this once I give birth. Dying to go back to my thin days! 45kg aim!!!!